Category: 1/4

Fiasco!

All Roads Lead To Rome [2016] ★

 Terrible comedy will make you cringe over and over again. Sarah Jessica Parker plays a single mother who decides to reconnect with her troubled daughter by taking her to Italy. Everything that follows rings cringingly false, from Parker’s ridiculous romance with an Italian man to her annoying daughter. […]

Dirty Grandpa [2016] ★

 The worst movie of the year so far has a fine chance of retaining the title for the rest of the year. Robert De Niro’s career hits all time low (give him an award for worst performance already), playing a perverted grandpa (*cringes*) who goes on a road […]

Bus 657 [2015] ★

 Another paycheck movie for the once great Robert De Niro in which he pretends to care about the movie or his audience. Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays a father who has to pay for his daughter’s medical treatment. His boss, played by a phony De Niro, refuses to help. So […]

The Last Witch Hunter [2015] ★

What to say about this lame-brained, terrible attempt to start a witch hunting franchise starring Vin Diesel? I say, screw the damn thing and run the other way. It’s all kinds of sad to see the legendary Michael Caine wasting his talent for the sake of a quick payday. It’s even funnier to […]

Pay The Ghost [2015] ★

A crappy Halloween movie starring Nicolas Cage is the last thing you needed this season. Cage plays a professor who finds himself hopelessly searching for his missing son who was abducted during a Halloween parade by an ugly entity. The real ugly entity is the movie itself, a terrible horror nonsense with […]

The Lazarus Effect [2015] ★

Here’s a horror flick about bringing the dead back to life (how original!). Mark Duplass (“The One I Love”), in mad-professor mode, wants to perform this procedure on his dead girlfriend (Olivia Wilde), with disastrous consequences (pun intended). Director David Gelb, in his feature debut, is transparently trying to rip off  every […]

Tracers [2015] ★

Fun fact: Taylor Lautner can’t act. Not in “Twilight”. Not in “Abduction”. And definitely not in “Tracers”, his latest action misfire. Lautner plays Cam, a New York bicycle messenger that had me remembering Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s underrated “Premium Rush”. Anyway, Cam is also in debt. So he quickly joins a group of urban […]

Everly [2015] ★

Reserve a special place in hell for movies that waste your time and patience. To a list that includes “Taken 3“, “Mortdecai” and “Jupiter Ascending“, add “Everly”. Joe Lynch is credited as a director and Yale Hannon with the script. But the movie seems untouched by human hands […]

Wild Card [2015] ★

Look at the poster. Read: from the director of “The Expendables 2”. This ought to tell you how horrible “Wild Card” is, the latest action fiasco starring non other than Jason Statham. He plays a lethal Las Vegas Bodyguard with a gambling problem. That’s it for subtext in this […]