Category: 1/4

Fiasco!

The Last Face [2016] ★

 How can a movie have a powerful message and still suck so bad? Director Sean Penn’s attempt at telling a love story amidst a political conflict in Africa is a slow, stupefyingly dull mess from start to finish. What’s even worse is all the talented people who wasted […]

Fifty Shades Darker [2017] ★

 I can think of 3 ways to torture your Valentine date this year: buy them a crappy giant teddy bear from Malik’s bookshop, force them to read/watch any Nicholas Sparks story, or just take them to see “Fifty Shades Darker”, the sequel to the equally terrible “Fifty Shades of […]

Arsenal [2017] ★

 The first real bad movie of 2017 stars non other than the legendary Nicolas Cage and…wait for it… John Cusack! Though they’re both reduced to supporting roles, you still can’t help but feel sorry for them for starring in almost anything these days, just for the sake of […]

Assassin’s Creed [2016] ★

 Since everything has already been said and done about “Assassin’s Creed”, the awful big screen adaptation of the popular video game, I’ve decided to do things differently for this review. I’m going to pretend that this is Twitter and I’m going to “tweet” my opinion about this movie […]

Boo! A Madea Halloween [2016] ★

10 thoughts that went through my head during Tyler Perry’s latest abomination “Boo! A Madea Halloween” (cool title, huh?). This can’t be as bad as all the previous Madea movies. I mean it’s a Halloween movie and it should be at least enjoyable. Right? Uh oh 5 minutes […]

Cell [2016] ★

Here’s a list of things I ABSOLUTELY hated about “Cell”, one of the worst big screen adaptations of a Stephen King novel: 1- The story. Nothing against King (who wrote the screenplay), but what the hell was that? In telling his story about a man (John Cusack) who […]

The Trust [2016] ★

 Nicolas Cage strikes again in one of the year’s worst movies, playing a police officer who learns of a vault with a large amount of money. Along with his partner (a washed up Elijah Wood who desperately needs to find a better agent), he decides to investigate more […]

All Roads Lead To Rome [2016] ★

 Terrible comedy will make you cringe over and over again. Sarah Jessica Parker plays a single mother who decides to reconnect with her troubled daughter by taking her to Italy. Everything that follows rings cringingly false, from Parker’s ridiculous romance with an Italian man to her annoying daughter. […]