It’s early in the year, but I defy any 2015 comedy to be as stupid, slack and boring as “Mortdecai”. Johnny Depp is embarrassingly bad as an art dealer who must traverse the globe with the support of his manservant Jock (Paul Bettany) to recover a stolen painting. Clumsily directed by David Koepp, from a script by Eric Aronson, “Mortdecai” is anchored only by idiocy. It’s sad to see such good actors as Ewan McGregor and Gwyneth Paltrow trading audience goodwill for a paycheck. I could even swear that Depp was trying to disguise his voice so audiences will forget it’s him. Not so fast. “Mortdecai” bores you so breathless you want to take names and exact punishment. It’s that awful.

Fiasco!