Fiasco!
What to say about this lame-brained, terrible attempt to start a witch hunting franchise starring Vin Diesel? I say, screw the damn thing and run the other way. It’s all kinds of sad to see the legendary Michael Caine wasting his talent for the sake of a quick payday. It’s even funnier to […]
A crappy Halloween movie starring Nicolas Cage is the last thing you needed this season. Cage plays a professor who finds himself hopelessly searching for his missing son who was abducted during a Halloween parade by an ugly entity. The real ugly entity is the movie itself, a terrible horror nonsense with […]
Here’s a horror flick about bringing the dead back to life (how original!). Mark Duplass (“The One I Love”), in mad-professor mode, wants to perform this procedure on his dead girlfriend (Olivia Wilde), with disastrous consequences (pun intended). Director David Gelb, in his feature debut, is transparently trying to rip off every […]
Fun fact: Taylor Lautner can’t act. Not in “Twilight”. Not in “Abduction”. And definitely not in “Tracers”, his latest action misfire. Lautner plays Cam, a New York bicycle messenger that had me remembering Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s underrated “Premium Rush”. Anyway, Cam is also in debt. So he quickly joins a group of urban […]
As if the 2009 original wasn’t endurance test enough, the sequel further cheapens the talents of Kevin James (once upon a time he was actually funny), reprising his role as Paul Blart (or fart), the famous mall cop who finds himself facing more bad guys, this time in… […]
Reserve a special place in hell for movies that waste your time and patience. To a list that includes “Taken 3“, “Mortdecai” and “Jupiter Ascending“, add “Everly”. Joe Lynch is credited as a director and Yale Hannon with the script. But the movie seems untouched by human hands […]
Look at the poster. Read: from the director of “The Expendables 2”. This ought to tell you how horrible “Wild Card” is, the latest action fiasco starring non other than Jason Statham. He plays a lethal Las Vegas Bodyguard with a gambling problem. That’s it for subtext in this […]
Ain’t it funny when someone like Jennifer Lopez tries to give her acting career another shot when we all agreed that it ended back in 2003? In “The Boy Next Door”, she hits rock bottom (take that, “Gigli”), playing a 40-something high school teacher who has a one night […]
It’s early in the year, but I defy any 2015 comedy to be as stupid, slack and boring as “Mortdecai”. Johnny Depp is embarrassingly bad as an art dealer who must traverse the globe with the support of his manservant Jock (Paul Bettany) to recover a stolen painting. […]
Ripping off “The Fugitive” and pretty much every single action thriller ever made, Liam Neeson has sadly saved the worst for last. “Taken 3” (or “Tak3n”) is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent desperation. At 109 minutes, it’s almost 20 minutes longer than its crappy predecessor. Which means you’ll have […]
