Category: 1/4

Fiasco!

Everly [2015] ★

Reserve a special place in hell for movies that waste your time and patience. To a list that includes “Taken 3“, “Mortdecai” and “Jupiter Ascending“, add “Everly”. Joe Lynch is credited as a director and Yale Hannon with the script. But the movie seems untouched by human hands […]

Wild Card [2015] ★

Look at the poster. Read: from the director of “The Expendables 2”. This ought to tell you how horrible “Wild Card” is, the latest action fiasco starring non other than Jason Statham. He plays a lethal Las Vegas Bodyguard with a gambling problem. That’s it for subtext in this […]

The Boy Next Door [2015] ★

Ain’t it funny when someone like Jennifer Lopez tries to give her acting career another shot when we all agreed that it ended back in 2003? In “The Boy Next Door”, she hits rock bottom (take that, “Gigli”), playing  a 40-something high school teacher who has a one night […]

Mortdecai [2015] ★

It’s early in the year, but I defy any 2015 comedy to be as stupid, slack and boring as “Mortdecai”. Johnny Depp is embarrassingly bad as an art dealer who must traverse the globe with the support of his manservant Jock (Paul Bettany) to recover a stolen painting. […]

Taken 3 [2015] ★

Ripping off “The Fugitive” and pretty much every single action thriller ever made, Liam Neeson has sadly saved the worst for last. “Taken 3” (or “Tak3n”) is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent desperation. At 109 minutes, it’s almost 20 minutes longer than its crappy predecessor. Which means you’ll have […]

The Quiet Ones [2014] ★

Painfully boring horror movie about a Professor who conducts an experiment on a young girl who claims to be possessed by an “evil” entity. 10 bucks says you stopped reading after “painfully boring” and I don’t blame you. This derivative paranormal nonsense will encourage even die-hard horror fans […]

Tammy [2014] ★

What can I say about a movie that made me want to walk out? “Tammy” is so lame and downright stupid that I hesitate to review it at all. It has none of the qualities of a good comedy, and it’s a long way from Melissa McCarthy’s Oscar-nominated […]