Category: 1.5/4

Awful

Ben-Hur [2016] ★½

 Somebody owes me a goddamn explanation: how do you remake William Wyler’s 1959 epic “Ben-Hur” starring Charlton Heston in his Oscar winning performance without screwing it all up? The answer is: you don’t. This new version, directed by Timur Bekmanbetov and starring Jack Huston (Heston, Huston. Get it?) […]

Equals [2016] ★½

 It’s not the worst Science-Fiction movie you could see, but “Equals”, clumsily directed by Drake Doremus, bored me to tears. I suppose it would only make sense to have Kristen Stewart in it, since everyone in this future society is supposed to be emotionless, even lifeless. The only […]

Independence Day: Resurgence [2016] ★½

 “We always knew they’d be back” they said. And I always knew it would suck. Let’s face it: what clicked in the mid 1990’s clearly doesn’t anymore. Following the first movie’s huge success (and believe me, it was), director Roland Emmerich went on to direct several “end of times” […]

Manhattan Night [2016] ★½

 You’d think a Mystery film starring Adrien Brody that looks and feels like a 1940’s film noir would be worth recommending. It isn’t. “Manhattan Night” follows Brody’s desperate search for the truth when a seductive woman asks him to investigate the unsolved murder of her filmmaker husband. As […]

Warcraft [2016] ★½

“Warcraft” is one of the most famous video games in the world. In Hollywood, this means business, and plenty of it. But if history has taught us anything it’s that movies based on video games rarely work. “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider”, “Doom”, “Resident Evil”, “Hitman”, “Max Payne”, “House of […]

Criminal [2016] ★½

 Can a movie feature an all star cast and still fail miserably? Yes it can. Exhibit A: “Criminal”, a criminally bad action thriller that flatters itself by claiming to be original. It wishes. Ryan Reynolds plays a CIA agent who gets killed off 10 minutes into the movie […]