Category: 1.5/4

Awful

Rings [2017] ★½

 It’s the curse of the horror sequels and reboots. You get one or two decent films and the studio decides to fuck it all up by releasing one pointless sequel after the other (I’m looking at you, “Saw” and “Final Destination”). I’m a huge fan of the original […]

The Great Wall [2016] ★½

 The Great Wall, starring Matt Damon as China’s last hope in their fight against some ancient creatures (huh?) is… how shall I put it? Cheesy. Ridiculous. A waste of talent. Damon traveled all the way to China to shoot this big budget production from director Zhang Yimou (“Hero”). […]

Incarnate [2016] ★½

 Aaron Eckhart plays a man haunted by his past. Is he haunted by how much his career has fallen since starring in Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight”? Na, nothing that interesting. He’s playing a scientist with the ability to heal possessed people by entering their subconscious mind. His latest […]

Underworld: Blood Wars [2016] ★½

I don’t know what Underworld purists (if any) would make of this fifth (and hopefully last) installment, but personally, I couldn’t wait for it to end. And when it was finally over, I breathed a sigh of relief. “Blood Wars”, once again starring Kate Beckinsale as the vampire […]

Blair Witch [2016] ★½

Originally promoted as “The Woods”, the people behind this piece of shit of a movie later on revealed the “shocking” news: this  was indeed a sequel to the surprise hit “The Blair Witch Project”. Clever stunt. I just wish the movie itself lived up to its hype. In […]

Ben-Hur [2016] ★½

 Somebody owes me a goddamn explanation: how do you remake William Wyler’s 1959 epic “Ben-Hur” starring Charlton Heston in his Oscar winning performance without screwing it all up? The answer is: you don’t. This new version, directed by Timur Bekmanbetov and starring Jack Huston (Heston, Huston. Get it?) […]