Category: 1.5/4

Awful

London Has Fallen [2016] ★½

 Instead of “Prepare for bloody hell”, tagline should read “You paid money to see the same movie…twice”. I’m not kidding. “London Has Fallen”, the sequel to 2013’s “Olympus Has Fallen“, is exactly the same plot, except it’s set in London. Talk about being original! Just to be clear […]

Kings Of Egypt [2016] ★½

 “Please make it stop!” I kept shouting at the screen as I suffered through this endless CGI-driven crap-fest starring Gerard Butler as a merciless God who is ruling the once peaceful Egypt with an iron fist. Now it’s up to a mortal hero (Brendon Thwaites, clueless) to team […]

Zoolander 2 [2016] ★½

 Somebody owes me an explanation. I left “Zoolander 2” wondering how bad things happened to two of my favorite comedians, Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. What the hell happened dudes? You guys were funny in the first “Zoolander” movie back in 2001, and I still have fond memories […]

The Choice [2016] ★½

This terrible tearjerker from the king of cheese himself Nicholas Sparks could well be his worst ever. You know who Sparks is, the guy who writes bestselling romance that become awful movies, such as “Dear John”, “The Last Song” and “Safe Haven”. The newest Sparks is “The Choice”, about two […]

Ride Along 2 [2016] ★½

Because the first one wasn’t bad enough, here comes part 2, a dreadful collection of ridiculously stupid gags that director Tim Story tries to polish, to no avail. Kevin Hart is now a rookie cop who is trying to prove himself (once again) to his soon-to-be brother in […]

The 5th Wave [2016] ★½

 The first science-fiction flop of the year is a dull, uninspired mess that rips off pretty much every “deadly alien attack” movie ever made. Chloe Grace Moretz can’t save a cheesy script, playing a girl who is constantly on the run from an alien attack, as she desperately […]

Daddy’s Home [2015] ★½

 I love it when everyone is busy with award season and yet studios insist on dumping their worst movies thinking we wouldn’t notice. Well we do notice, especially when it’s a painfully unfunny comedy starring two actors that deserve much much more: Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. Ferrell […]

By The Sea [2015] ★½

Stylishly made but painfully boring drama about a 1970’s marriage gone bad. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt play husband and wife and it’s a nasty sight. Vacationing in a beautiful place in Europe, Jolie barely says a word. She’s depressed and we have to suffer with her for […]