The Loft [2015] ★½

loft-posterHorrible erotic thriller made by people who’ve never seen a decent thriller before. If you’re still with me, and I don’t blame you if you’re not, you probably want to know more. So here’s the setup: Five married guys decide to secretly share a penthouse loft in the city where they can fulfill their deepest fantasies with random women. Kinky right? But then someone is murdered and each one of these guys becomes a suspect. Intriguing? Definitely. And yet the movie fails on every conceivable level. The plot? Overstuffed. Suspense? Muted. Acting? Terrible, especially Wentworth Miller from “Prison Break”. Sex? Awful, but still better than “50 Shades of Grey”. Director Erik Van Looy, in his English language debut, has no game here. How could he, with a script by Bart De Pauw and Wesley Strick, that packs all the stupidity of a straight-to-video film. The true audiences for “The Loft” are people who are truly addicted to punishment…by boredom. You’ve been warned!

Rating: 1.5/4

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