Awful
From the trailer and synopsis you would think this is a solid thriller, much like David Fincher’s “Gone Girl” in which Ben Affleck’s wife disappears without a trace. But from the opening scene, something was off. “The Girl On The Train” is a tedious film; badly scripted, awkwardly […]
Originally promoted as “The Woods”, the people behind this piece of shit of a movie later on revealed the “shocking” news: this was indeed a sequel to the surprise hit “The Blair Witch Project”. Clever stunt. I just wish the movie itself lived up to its hype. In […]
I cringed so many times during “When the Bough Breaks”. Most times when Morris Chestnut and Jazz Sinclair had scenes together. He plays a married man who desperately wants a baby with his wife (Regina Hall). Problem is: they can’t conceive unless they hire a surrogate mother. That […]
Somebody owes me a goddamn explanation: how do you remake William Wyler’s 1959 epic “Ben-Hur” starring Charlton Heston in his Oscar winning performance without screwing it all up? The answer is: you don’t. This new version, directed by Timur Bekmanbetov and starring Jack Huston (Heston, Huston. Get it?) […]
In an era of sequels and reboots, I ask Hollywood a very important question: who the hell ordered this one? If you paid to see Jason Statham kick ass in the lousy 2012 action flick “The Mechanic” and can’t wait to see “Resurrection”, then you’re craving movie punishment […]
It’s not the worst Science-Fiction movie you could see, but “Equals”, clumsily directed by Drake Doremus, bored me to tears. I suppose it would only make sense to have Kristen Stewart in it, since everyone in this future society is supposed to be emotionless, even lifeless. The only […]
It’s not really a movie. Zac Efron, 29, and Adam Devine, 33, still acting like hormonally charged teenagers at their sister’s wedding in Hawaii. And yet they’ve been warned by their parents not to show up unless they find decent dates for the occasion. That would be Aubrey Plaza […]
“We always knew they’d be back” they said. And I always knew it would suck. Let’s face it: what clicked in the mid 1990’s clearly doesn’t anymore. Following the first movie’s huge success (and believe me, it was), director Roland Emmerich went on to direct several “end of times” […]
You’d think a Mystery film starring Adrien Brody that looks and feels like a 1940’s film noir would be worth recommending. It isn’t. “Manhattan Night” follows Brody’s desperate search for the truth when a seductive woman asks him to investigate the unsolved murder of her filmmaker husband. As […]
“Warcraft” is one of the most famous video games in the world. In Hollywood, this means business, and plenty of it. But if history has taught us anything it’s that movies based on video games rarely work. “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider”, “Doom”, “Resident Evil”, “Hitman”, “Max Payne”, “House of […]
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