Category: 1.5/4

Awful

The Runner [2015] ★½

   Nicolas Cage in yet another paycheck movie, this time as a politician accused of corruption in the aftermath of the BP oil spill in 2010. The result is a boring, confusing mess from start to finish. Pains me to say this but I don’t think we’ll ever see Nic […]

Vacation [2015] ★½

As if we needed a “Vacation” reboot. The 1983 original starring Chevy Chase wasn’t exactly Shakespeare, but it was funny and entertaining enough. The new one, starring Ed Helms as a family guy who decides to take his wife (Christina Applegate) and two sons on a “fun” road […]

Fantastic 4 [2015] ★½

Don’t let the success of other superhero movies tell you that Hollywood can’t fuck up. For that, get a load of “Fantastic 4”, a new example of how NOT to make a comic book movie unless you want to screw things up. Terrible CGIs, horrible acting, cheesy writing […]

Unfinished Business [2015] ★½

Vince Vaughn deserves better than this terrible comedy about a small business owner and his two stupid associates (Tom Wilkinson and Dave Franco) who travel to Europe to close the most important deal of their lives. Sounds like a setup for a wild, raunchy ride. But the air goes out […]

Aloha [2015] ★½

 Good directors tend to screw up. If you admire Cameron Crowe and his movies (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous) like I do, you’ll be rooting for him to score another bull’s eye with his latest effort. But it’s clear from the very first moment that “Aloha” is a complete […]

Insidious: Chapter 3 [2015] ★½

I’m calling bullshit on “Insidious 3”. Ten minutes into this cash in “prequel” (because let’s face it: it has no reason to exist), I knew it would suck. But I had no idea it would suck this bad. Director Leigh Whannell, in for the gifted James Wan (if you haven’t seen […]

The Loft [2015] ★½

Horrible erotic thriller made by people who’ve never seen a decent thriller before. If you’re still with me, and I don’t blame you if you’re not, you probably want to know more. So here’s the setup: Five married guys decide to secretly share a penthouse loft in the city […]

Fifty Shades Of Grey [2015] ★½

It was fun, admit it, to watch Sharon Stone in 1992’s “Basic Instinct”, getting Michael Douglas and the audience cross-eyed just by uncrossing her legs on a day she forgot to wear underwear. This one scene is sexier than anything you’ll see in “Fifty Shades of Grey”, the […]