Category: 1.5/4

Awful

Fantastic 4 [2015] ★½

Don’t let the success of other superhero movies tell you that Hollywood can’t fuck up. For that, get a load of “Fantastic 4”, a new example of how NOT to make a comic book movie unless you want to screw things up. Terrible CGIs, horrible acting, cheesy writing […]

Unfinished Business [2015] ★½

Vince Vaughn deserves better than this terrible comedy about a small business owner and his two stupid associates (Tom Wilkinson and Dave Franco) who travel to Europe to close the most important deal of their lives. Sounds like a setup for a wild, raunchy ride. But the air goes out […]

Aloha [2015] ★½

 Good directors tend to screw up. If you admire Cameron Crowe and his movies (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous) like I do, you’ll be rooting for him to score another bull’s eye with his latest effort. But it’s clear from the very first moment that “Aloha” is a complete […]

Insidious: Chapter 3 [2015] ★½

I’m calling bullshit on “Insidious 3”. Ten minutes into this cash in “prequel” (because let’s face it: it has no reason to exist), I knew it would suck. But I had no idea it would suck this bad. Director Leigh Whannell, in for the gifted James Wan (if you haven’t seen […]

The Loft [2015] ★½

Horrible erotic thriller made by people who’ve never seen a decent thriller before. If you’re still with me, and I don’t blame you if you’re not, you probably want to know more. So here’s the setup: Five married guys decide to secretly share a penthouse loft in the city […]

Fifty Shades Of Grey [2015] ★½

It was fun, admit it, to watch Sharon Stone in 1992’s “Basic Instinct”, getting Michael Douglas and the audience cross-eyed just by uncrossing her legs on a day she forgot to wear underwear. This one scene is sexier than anything you’ll see in “Fifty Shades of Grey”, the […]

Jupiter Ascending [2015] ★½

Don’t let Oscar season convince you that this isn’t a disappointing start of the year for movies. Have you seen “Mortdecai” and “Taken 3”? And wait till you get a load of “Jupiter Ascending”, the new mess by The Wachowski siblings. Smirky acting, clumsy writing and clueless direction. […]

Annie [2014] ★½

What a disaster. Jamie Foxx is such a fine actor that matching him up with Quvenzhané Wallis (who was Oscar nominated for her role in 2012’s “Beasts of the Southern Wild” at the age of 9) to modernize the beloved stage musical “Annie” sounds promising. On paper. What’s onscreen feels squeezed, dull […]

Ouija [2014] ★½

“Ouija” is the latest in a long line of “scary kids” movies like “Children of the Damned”, “The Ring”, and even “The Grudge”. So you have to admire filmmakers who can pretend that these movies never existed as hit films or as spawners of multiple ripoffs.The silly plot follows a young […]