Category: 1.5/4
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Annie [2014] ★½
What a disaster. Jamie Foxx is such a fine actor that matching him up with Quvenzhané Wallis (who was Oscar nominated for her role in 2012’s “Beasts of the Southern Wild” at the age of 9) to modernize the beloved stage musical “Annie” sounds promising. On paper. What’s onscreen feels squeezed, dull and curiously lifeless. It’s got no kick…
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Ouija [2014] ★½
“Ouija” is the latest in a long line of “scary kids” movies like “Children of the Damned”, “The Ring”, and even “The Grudge”. So you have to admire filmmakers who can pretend that these movies never existed as hit films or as spawners of multiple ripoffs.The silly plot follows a young woman named Laine (Olivia Cooke from “Bates…
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Repentance [2014] ★½
Forest Whitaker was so good in his Oscar winning performance in “The Last King Of Scotland” so why did he go and spoil everything with a cheesy thriller that buries him in endless clichés? I’d call this turd “Misery” meets “Psycho” but that would insult those movies. Much like “No Good Deed” (another movie you should avoid), “Repentance” doesn’t move…
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Rio, I Love You [2014] ★½
Dull follow-up to “Paris Je T’aime” and “New York I Love You” offers a range of episodes set in the Brazilian city of Rio De Janero, mostly dealing with encounter of love in a different neighborhood of the city. Most of them are slight and boring; these vignettes about the beautiful city of Rio may just…
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Dracula Untold [2014] ★½
It’s been a horrible year for classic “Universal” monsters. First “I, Frankenstein” back in January and now “Dracula Untold”, which tells the story of Vlad the Impaler (Luke Evans), before and after his days as the famous vampire monster. The movie has its moments, but the overall result is an insult rather than a tribute…
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And So It Goes [2014] ★½
If you admire such films as “This Is Spinal Tap”, “Stand By Me” and “The Princess Bride” as I do, you’ll be rooting for director Rob Reiner to score another bull’s-eye with his latest effort. But it’s clear pretty early on that “And so it Goes” is a muddled misfire: a tiresome, talky “romantic” comedy about a…
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Let’s Be Cops [2014] ★½
Lame, one joke comedy about two losers who decide to “play” cops just for the fun of it, with disastrous (pun intended) results. I could go on, but do I really have to? Rating: 1.5/4
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No Good Deed [2014] ★½
If you’re wondering why most studios dump their worst movies in September, buy a ticket to see “No Good Deed”, the latest crap from director Sam Miller. Meanwhile, here’s a memo to Taraji P. Henson: You were so good as Queenie in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” , so why’d you go spoil everything with a cheesy…
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The November Man [2014] ★½
Wanna see a spy thriller that feels like leftovers from Pierce Brosnan’s days as James Bond? If so,”The November Man” is the movie for you. Brosnan plays an ex-CIA agent named Devereaux, who is pulled back into service by his old mates for one “final” mission and winds up in the middle of some conspiracy…
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Sex Tape [2014] ★½
“Sex Tape” is the kind of movie that gives sex comedies a bad name. I won’t dwell on its one-joke premise, in which a married couple make a sex tape and then realize that it’s spreading like wildfire to a multitude of iPads they’ve recently given to friends and family. Nor will I comment on whether or not…
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Transformers: Age Of Extinction [2014] ★½
It’s tempting to dismiss Michael Bay’s long, loud and preposterous third sequel with one word: crap. On every level, this movie is ridiculously stupid. But there is more to be said about a movie this huge ($210 million spent on robot junk) and this stupid. “Age of Extinction” may not be as horrible as “Dark of the Moon” (oh the horror), but it’s still pretty bad. And please, you…
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Heaven Is For Real [2014] ★½
Yep, this is the movie where Greg Kinnear’s 5 year old son suffers a burst appendix and claims he saw heaven, Jesus and his grandpa. I’m not making this up, since we’re told right from the start that this is all based on a true story. Fair enough. I am not criticizing any real belief…
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The Purge: Anarchy [2014]
The first “Purge” cost $3 million to make and ended up making $64 million. I thought you should know this fact because it’s the only damn thing left for Hollywood to exploit in a franchise. This ridiculous sequel is more of the same, only less likable; Once a year, for 12 hours, the government condones robbery, rape…
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Think Like A Man Too [2014] ★½
Sequels are the curse of modern-day moviegoing. Occasionally you find a good one, but more often the second installment dissipates all the fun and sense of discovery that made the original a hit in the first place. That’s not the case with “Think Like A Man Too”, since the first one was equally stupid. Now…
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The Angriest Man In Brooklyn [2014] ★½
Robin Williams is the angriest man in Brooklyn. And I’m the angriest man in the theater. This movie stinks. Rating: 1.5/4
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Grace Of Monaco [2014] ★½
Shush. Do you hear that? That’s Grace Kelly turning in her grave. Kelly, a former actress turned Princess, is one of the most iconic women of the 20th Century, if not the greatest. But telling her story is no easy achievement. Enter French director Olivier Dahan, who brought visionary zest to Edith Piaf in 2007’s…
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Son Of God [2014] ★½
It’s difficult to review a movie like “Son Of God”. Some people may question my intentions, but I’m not here to start a religious debate. I’m here to review a film, and as a film “Son Of God” can only be described as a misfire. Writer/director Christopher Spencer creates a beautiful mess, an embarrassment of…
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Reasonable Doubt [2014] ★½
In this boring thriller, district attorney Dominic Cooper (a decent actor) commits a fatal hit and run after a night of drinking. When Clinton (Samuel L. Jackson), a man who lost his wife and child in a deadly home invasion, is charged with killing the man Dominic struck, the lawyer works hard to convict the…
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Oldboy [2013] ★½
The original “Oldboy”, directed by Park Chan-Wook is a powerful tale of revenge and a Korean cult classic. The new one, directed by the ambitious Spike Lee doesn’t deserve a review at all. It needs to be buried and forgotten. Rating: 1.5/4
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Filth [2013] ★½
Nothing against James McAvoy (who was good in so many movies) or his director Jon S. Baid, but my patience drowned while trying to swallow this atrocity. McAvoy plays a self-obsessed bipolar detective who hallucinates, blackmails, boozes and drugs his way around Edinburgh, trying to solve a murder case but actually getting lost in his…
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