Rock Of Ages [2012] ★★½

There’s nothing inherently wrong with “Rock of Ages”, a movie with a killer soundtrack and a brilliant performance by Mr. Tom Cruise, but there’s nothing special about it either. This is a situation where audiences will go into the theater humming the featured songs, and while the movie they see offers no surprises, it does something relatively few summer releases can claim: it delivers exactly what it promises. Plot-wise, there’s nothing much to discuss. All you need to know is that country girl Sherrie (Julianne Hough) is moving to Los Angeles in order to pursue a career in music (now ain’t that cute?).  Instead, she gets a job at a club called “The Bourbon”, owned by none other than Alec Baldwin, where she meets and falls in love with city boy Drew. Sounds like a fairy tale. But nevermind the lame plot, because let’s face it: the emphasis here is on music and more specifically rock icon Stacee Jaxx (the fan-fuckin-tastic Cruise), lead singer of Arsenal, the band set to make its farewell appearance at Baldwin’s club before Jaxx goes solo. The script, written by Justin Theroux, Chris D’Arienzo and Allan Loeb is infested with cliches; from the plot, to the lousy dialogue, to Baldwin’s ridiculous hair. What’s more, the movie drags the most when it focuses on the two main characters, who look cute together at first, but that’s it. Ok ok enough whining.  “Rock of Ages” is a movie that clearly means to rock you. And that it does. From Def Leppard, Foreigner, Bon Jovi, REO Speedwagon, Twisted Sister, Poison and Whitesnake, it’s almost impossible to resist it. Add to that Cruise’s phenomenal performance and you’ll find yourself even willing to rock along. “Rock of Ages” pulls itself off because of him. In the words of Bret Michaels: “It’s nothin’ but a good time”. Amen to that brother.

Rating: 2.5/4

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