Category: GENRE
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Resident Evil: Retribution [2012]
No tension, excitement, or interest, amateurish action, and lousy CGI’s.That’s “Resident Evil Retribution” in a nutshell. Even die hard fans of the series will agree with me this time around. The 5th installment is the worst one so far and I demand an explanation. I never expected Shakespeare but I guess I never expected it to…
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Total Recall [2012] ★★
Cool cast. Potent premise. Piss-poor execution. And so dies “Total Recall”, a wannabe sci-fi movie set in the future, also a remake of a 1990 film of the same name starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sharon Stone (not yet a major star). Of the movie, at least it can be said that no one was tampering with a…
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The Cold Light Of Day [2012]
We got problems. Start with the title. What the hell does it mean? Then there’s the movie itself, which should be an enjoyable thriller but settles for just awful. Henry Cavill (the next Man Of Steel) plays Will Shaw, a young Wall Street trader who is taking time away from work to spend a holiday…
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ATM [2012] ★½
Three people find themselves trapped in an ATM building, while a hooded killer stands outside, messing with them. That’s the premise of this truly dreadful movie, which has enough ideas to fill out a 20 minute short. Unfortunately, “ATM” runs 90 minutes, and as it ambles along you can feel the life draining from it. The…
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Ted [2012] ★★★
Sometimes a comedy movie just clicks. Welcome to one of those times. “Ted”, from director Seth MacFarlane (the wacky dude behind TV’s “Family Guy”) fires off big, fat, raucous laughs as if it had an endless supply. It doesn’t. The film limps a bit in the final stretch and doesn’t know when to quit. A small price…
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The Tall Man [2012]
Jessica Biel, whose career has been sputtering on life support for years, plays a woman who is trying to uncover the mystery of the so called Tall Man, after her son goes missing one night. Useful tip: don’t ask. Don’t watch. Fiasco!
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2 Days In New York [2012] ★★½
Amusing but uneven follow-up to the 2007 movie “2 Days In Paris” finds Julie Delpy’s family coming to visit her and her boyfriend (Chris Rock) in New York. We previously met Delpy’s character Marion in the first movie, in which she traveled to Paris with her American boyfriend Jack (Adam Goldberg), who could barely handle her…
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The Expendables 2 [2012] ★★
No one expected Shakespeare, but director Simon West’s failure to turn this franchise into something memorable can easily be ranked as one of the biggest disappointments of the decade. Admit it though: on the surface, the idea of Sylvester Stallone assembling a team of action stars to kick ass is a testosterone turn-on. Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Jason…
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Brave [2012] ★★★
I approach each new Disney Pixar film with a combination of eagerness and apprehension: will it be as good as I want it to be? As far as “Brave” is concerned, I knew within minutes that the answer was yes. Even though it doesn’t break any new grounds, I was still captivated by it. It’s that…
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Bernie [2012] ★★★
Jack Black’s presence generally makes any movie worth seeing, and this is no exception. Want more proof? “The School Of Rock”, “Be Kind Rewind” and “Tenacious D”. In “Bernie”, a strange movie directed by Richard Linklater , Black plays a beloved mortician. I say beloved because he is so good at what he does, and everyone…
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The Dark Knight Rises [2012] ★★★½
Question: how can you top “The Dark Knight”, one of the best (if not the best) superhero movie of all time? The answer is you can’t. But hold your horses. “The Dark Knight Rises” may not be as brilliant as its predecessor, but it’s damn near close. Christopher Nolan’s terrific conclusion to his Batman trilogy…
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Casa De Mi Padre [2012] ★★½
Will Ferrell is having the time of his life in this enjoyable B movie (the opening logo is proof that it’s strictly a B production), playing Armando Alvarez, a Mexican rancher hot for the fiancee of his brother (Diego Luna) and trying to deal with a drug lord , played by Gael García Bernal. Yes Ferrell…
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The Magic Of Belle Isle [2012] ★★½
Since multiplexes are crammed with lousy movies this month (with the exception of the solid “The Amazing Spider-Man), you might want to run to your nearest DVD store and get this feel good, family friendly film. Plus the fact that it stars the great Morgan Freeman is reason enough to check it out. It’s not…
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Chernobyl Diaries [2012]
Told you I’d be reviewing crappy movies this month. Case in point, “Chernobyl Diaries”, a truly dreadful horror movie from the creator of the “Paranormal Activity” franchise (not again!). On the surface, you’d think this is yet another “found-footage” film, when in fact it’s not. But it has enough shaky camera scenes and lousy “boo”…
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Silent House [2012] ★½
Many have heaped praise on the technique used in this haunted house chiller, but directors Chris Kentis and Laura Lau take an awfully long time getting to the actual plot, content to spend the first half of the movie doling out “boo!” moments. In fact, those moments never really fade away, and most of them are pretty…
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The Three Stooges [2012] ★★
To call this movie pointless wouldn’t be unfair. After all, if you’re a die hard fan of the original stooges, why bother with a replica when you can still catch the real deal on DVD right? But Hollywood and The Farrelly brothers had other plans. Instead of a biopic that might explain how Moe, Larry and…
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Ice Age 4: Continental Drift [2012] ★★½
If you have kids, you’ll want to take them to see “Ice Age 4”, and they’ll almost certainly have a good time. If you’re an animation buff, like myself, you may have a problem with the film, which looks great but isn’t up to the standards in terms of story. That’s the problem with producing…
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The Amazing Spider-Man [2012] ★★★
Early reviews have been inordinately pissy for the new Spider-Man movie. And there’s no arguing that the movie is too long at 136 mintues, and feels a lot like a replica (the last Spiderman was only 5 years ago and the series didn’t need a reboot so early). Know what? Audiences won’t give a damn.…
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Rock Of Ages [2012] ★★½
There’s nothing inherently wrong with “Rock of Ages”, a movie with a killer soundtrack and a brilliant performance by Mr. Tom Cruise, but there’s nothing special about it either. This is a situation where audiences will go into the theater humming the featured songs, and while the movie they see offers no surprises, it does something relatively…
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Safe [2012] ★½
Oh look, another Jason Statham movie! I could go on, but do I really have to? Rating; 1.5/4
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