Category: 2/4
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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 [2012] ★★
“Breaking Dawn part 2” is being presold as the best “Twilight” movie of the series. Faint praise, indeed. And also misleading. The first movie, released in 2008, is still the most bearable because director Catherine Hardwicke dove into the adolescent angst of Stephenie Meyer’s novel without an ounce of condescension. “New Moon” on the other hand directed by Chris…
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Sinister [2012] ★★
In this watchable but instantly forgettable horror movie, Ethan Hawke plays a true-crime writer who moves his family into a house with a dark past, without telling his wife (Juliet Rylance) and kids (Michael Hall D’Addario, Clare Foley) that bit of information. Why? He wants to write a book about the events that took place in…
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Killer Joe [2012] ★★
Matthew McConaughey is perfectly cast as a sadistic dallas cop who works as a hit man in “Killer Joe”, but at some point I found myself curiously disengaged from this story and didn’t care what happened to everyone involved in it. That’s a damn shame, because McConaughey, who delivered such a daring performance in “Magic…
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Taken 2 [2012] ★★
I think it’s useless to try and figure out why “Taken 2” is so disappointing. The film only exists because, after the huge success of the first movie, its studio demanded a sequel. And if their instincts were correct, people will definitely rush to see it this weekend. Fair enough. But if your only choice of…
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Magic Mike [2012] ★★
All the women in the world are lining up to see “Magic Mike”. Why? Because it stars Channing Tatum (yep that dude from “Dear John and “The Vow”) as a stripper. Sounds like the movie event of the year no? Not really. Stripping aside, the plot couldn’t be more predictable. The problem lies not entirely…
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The Watch [2012] ★★
I love Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill. These guys are funny. So why isn’t “The Watch” any good? Start with the silly premise: Suburban husband Stiller manages a Costco, where one his employees is murdered one night in a highly mysterious manner. The local police are morons, so this pushes Stiller to form his own…
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Total Recall [2012] ★★
Cool cast. Potent premise. Piss-poor execution. And so dies “Total Recall”, a wannabe sci-fi movie set in the future, also a remake of a 1990 film of the same name starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sharon Stone (not yet a major star). Of the movie, at least it can be said that no one was tampering with a…
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The Expendables 2 [2012] ★★
No one expected Shakespeare, but director Simon West’s failure to turn this franchise into something memorable can easily be ranked as one of the biggest disappointments of the decade. Admit it though: on the surface, the idea of Sylvester Stallone assembling a team of action stars to kick ass is a testosterone turn-on. Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Jason…
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The Three Stooges [2012] ★★
To call this movie pointless wouldn’t be unfair. After all, if you’re a die hard fan of the original stooges, why bother with a replica when you can still catch the real deal on DVD right? But Hollywood and The Farrelly brothers had other plans. Instead of a biopic that might explain how Moe, Larry and…
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Wanderlust [2012] ★★
I don’t want to sound like a party pooper, but “Wanderlust” is one of the few Paul Rudd movies that I couldn’t enjoy. Now don’t get me wrong. The man is still a pleasure to watch. But I couldn’t care less about the plot or its outcome. The best thing I can derive from it…
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Salmon Fishing In The Yemen [2012] ★★
It’s difficult to know what to make of “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen“. When I asked some people about it, reaction was all over the map. One person said it was a horrible movie, while another said that its “a mixture of boredom and wisdom”; many others echoed their sentiments. I fall somewhere in between…
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The Dictator [2012] ★★
As someone who, swimming against the current, doesn’t care much for Sacha Baron Cohen and his alter egos, Borat, Ali G and Bruno, I still wanted to give the guy another chance to impress me. I certainly couldn’t have predicted a movie as lame and mediocre as “The Dictator”. Why? Because it wussies out on…
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Snow White And The Huntsman [2012] ★★
Poor Grimm brothers can’t get a break from Hollywood, at least not since two “Snow White” movies were released this year. The first one, “Mirror Mirror”, was pure garbage. Now “Snow White and the Huntsman” is here. So how bad is it? Not that bad to be honest, uneven to be sure and terribly slow…
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The Cabin In The Woods [2012] ★★
Start hating me now, horror fans. But the gory, predictable and plodding “Cabin in the Woods” is one of the most disappointing movies of the year. Disappointing why? Because judging from every review on the planet, I expected something memorable. Something huge. Something so damn exciting I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about it. Alas,…
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Goon [2012] ★★
I’ve tried to make my peace with what is known as “The New Vulgarity”, as Hollywood has jumped on the R-rated comedy bandwagon, but it isn’t always easy. Luckily enough, Sean William Scott (a.k.a “The Stiffmeister) gives it his best as a hockey player whose main function is to beat up the players on the other…
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The Sitter [2011] ★★
“The Sitter” is far from the disaster it’s been made out to be in some reviews…nor is it an unqualified success. How you feel about it will have a lot to do with your age and gender. Younger audiences might think it was the greatest movie ever made, a wish fulfillment comedy featuring lots of…
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Young Adult [2011] ★★
Compared to Jason Reitman’s other films, like “Juno”, “Thank You For Smoking”, and “Up in the Air”, “Young Adult” doesn’t stand a chance. Charlize Theron delivers a bold performance, playing an extremely unlikable character (she did it before in “Monster”). An author of young adult fiction, she lives an empty life in the city, drowning…
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This Means War [2012] ★★
“This Means War” is the movie equivalent of fast food; familiar, enjoyable, but easily forgotten. If you’re a fan of the comedy generated by Reese Witherspoon and Chelsea Handler, you’ll either be the perfect audience for this movie or you may find the humor overly familiar. I’m not a diehard fan, and I found the…
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Father Of Invention [2011] ★★
Kevin Spacey is a pleasure to watch in anything. Ok maybe not in “Fred Claus” or…anyway you see where I’m going. Who doesn’t like Kevin Spacey? The Spacey appeal is what makes the otherwise forgettable “Father Of Invention” go down easy. Spacey plays Robert Axel, one of those guys you see on T.V yelling about some…
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Friends With Benefits [2011] ★★
Admit it: You’ve seen that same story about a guy and a girl who say they’re just in it for the sex so many times before and better. So why try to deny it? Yet as soon as it opens, “Friends With Benefits” wants you to know that you’re in for something completely different than…
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