Category: action
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Monster Trucks [2016] ★★
First the good news: this is better than any “Transformers” sequels, for the simple fact that the characters in it actually have words to say. But that’s not saying much is it? Shot in 2014 and originally scheduled for a 2015 release, Paramount pictures later on decided to move its release date to 2016, then…
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Resident Evil: The Final Chapter [2017] ★½
Nobody expected a masterpiece, but director Paul W.S Anderson’s failure to end this series on a high note ranks as a major disappointment. There’s literally nothing new here, only one merciless action scene after the other as Alice (Milla Jovovich) tries to put an end to the Umbrella Corporation once and for all. Will she? Obviously.…
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xXx: Return Of Xander Cage [2017] ★★
The sequel we’ve all been waiting for is finally here. Lol I’m kidding nobody asked for this. But here we are: 15 years since the very first “xXx” hit theaters back in 2002 and 11 since its terrible sequel starring Ice Cube. “Return of Xander Cage” is pretty much self-explanatory, especially if you’re familiar with its…
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Patriot’s Day [2016] ★★★
Powerful docudrama recounts the events leading up to the 2013 Boston marathon bombing and the pulse-pounding manhunt that ensued in its aftermath. I personally couldn’t care less about director Peter Berg’s previous disaster film “Deepwater Horizon”, but what I liked about “Patriot’s Day” is that the story he tells is a scary reminder of the…
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Assassin’s Creed [2016] ★
Since everything has already been said and done about “Assassin’s Creed”, the awful big screen adaptation of the popular video game, I’ve decided to do things differently for this review. I’m going to pretend that this is Twitter and I’m going to “tweet” my opinion about this movie using 140 characters or less. It might…
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The Great Wall [2016] ★½
The Great Wall, starring Matt Damon as China’s last hope in their fight against some ancient creatures (huh?) is… how shall I put it? Cheesy. Ridiculous. A waste of talent. Damon traveled all the way to China to shoot this big budget production from director Zhang Yimou (“Hero”). He’s the lucky one. We have to…
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Rogue One: A Star Wars Story [2016] ★★★½
I don’t pretend to be the biggest Star Wars geek in the galaxy, but I do know a good Star Wars film when I see one, and “Rogue One” is exactly that. For one, it cleverly and effortlessly works as a link between episode III and Episode IV while working perfectly well as a standalone…
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Underworld: Blood Wars [2016] ★½
I don’t know what Underworld purists (if any) would make of this fifth (and hopefully last) installment, but personally, I couldn’t wait for it to end. And when it was finally over, I breathed a sigh of relief. “Blood Wars”, once again starring Kate Beckinsale as the vampire death dealer still fighting the war between…
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Doctor Strange [2016] ★★★
It’s always refreshing to encounter a new kind of hero in this already overstuffed superhero cinematic universe. DC unleashed “Batman V Superman” and “Suicide Squad” earlier this year, while Marvel delivered one of their best movies yet: “Civil War”. Is there room for more? The answer is yes and he goes by the name of…
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The Accountant [2016] ★★★
It could have been a straightforward action movie with nothing new to offer, but “The Accountant” has a lot to offer, including a memorable performance from its leading man: Ben Affleck. He plays an accountant, but not your average accountant. Away from his boring job at a CPA office, he freelances as an accountant for some…
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Jack Reacher: Never Go Back [2016] ★★
It’s the curse of the sequels all over again. “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2” and “Independence Day: Resurgence” earlier this year, and now “Never Go Back”, the sequel to 2012’s “Jack Reacher also starring Tom Cruise. The first film wasn’t innovative in any way, but it was a highly entertaining action thriller and I…
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USS Indianapolis: Men Of Courage [2016] ★
Id’ rather shoot myself in the foot than watch a Nicolas Cage movie these days. I know that. You guys know that by now. And yet, judging from the synopsis, you would expect a decent tribute to the crew of the USS Indianapolis, who were stranded in the Philippine Sea for five days after delivering the…
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Deepwater Horizon [2016] ★★
It’s the worst oil spill in American history. April 20, 2010, 35 miles off the Louisiana coast in the Gulf of Mexico, a deepwater drilling rig explodes, killing 11 people and injuring many others. Director Peter Berg depicts the events leading up to the explosion, and I gotta tell you folks, I couldn’t care less for…
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Kickboxer: Vengeance [2016] ★
A disaster from start to finish, this dumb “sequel” to the 1989 film starring Jean-Claude Van Damme follows Kurt Sloane (Alain Moussi) and his quest to avenge the death of his brother who was brutally killed by the fighter Tong Po (David Bautista, clueless). You know the film’s in deep trouble when even the fight…
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Ben-Hur [2016] ★½
Somebody owes me a goddamn explanation: how do you remake William Wyler’s 1959 epic “Ben-Hur” starring Charlton Heston in his Oscar winning performance without screwing it all up? The answer is: you don’t. This new version, directed by Timur Bekmanbetov and starring Jack Huston (Heston, Huston. Get it?) in the title character feels rushed, truncated…
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Blood Father [2016] ★★½
Mel Gibson’s return to the big screen (feels like forever) was well worth the wait. “Blood Father”, a straightforward B-action thriller about an ex convict (Gibson) who must protect his 17 year old daughter from the drug cartel, doesn’t reinvent the wheel. But Gibson, 60, certainly looks ripped and ready to kick ass. His comeback…
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Mechanic: Resurrection [2016] ★½
In an era of sequels and reboots, I ask Hollywood a very important question: who the hell ordered this one? If you paid to see Jason Statham kick ass in the lousy 2012 action flick “The Mechanic” and can’t wait to see “Resurrection”, then you’re craving movie punishment and I can’t help you. Statham reprises…
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Jason Bourne [2016] ★★★
I’ve waited 9 years for Jason Bourne to finally resurface following the hugely entertaining “Bourne Ultimatum”, and despite its ageing material, the new Bourne film delivers the goods from start to finish. It’s also one hell of a comeback for Paul Greengrass (who previously directed “Supremacy” and “Ultimatum”), who keeps the suspense alive as Bourne trots…
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Star Trek: Beyond [2016] ★★★
It’s not “Into Darkness” or the classic “The Wrath of Khan”, but producer J.J Abrams and his collaborators have managed to pull off the impossible by delivering yet another spectacular entry in the Star Trek franchise. “Beyond” , once again starring Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto (who both continue to impress) as well as Zoe Saldana, Simon…
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Central Intelligence [2016] ★★½
It’s a Hollywood summer tradition: a silly comedy starring two likable actors. We’ve seen it in “The Heat”, “Spy” and “The Other Guys”. In Central Intelligence’s case, they are a good reason to buy a ticket, and they go by the name of Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart. In a prologue set 20 years ago, we…
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