This weird-ass movie from writer/director Kevin Smith is proof that the man is still crazy as fuck. And I don’t mean that as a compliment. The always likable Justin Long isn’t so likable here, playing Wallace, half of an L.A. podcasting team. He and his partner Teddy (Haley Joel Osment aka that kid from “The Sixth Sense”) specialize in the macabre and the bizarre. That leads Wallace to a small Canadian town, where he meets a weird old man called Howard Howe (Michael Parks). Ready for the twist? Howe wants to turn Wallace into a…wait for it…walrus! An effin Walrus! And the wacko has the surgical tools to do it. You can imagine how things turn very ugly, very quickly. The film has its “funny” Kevin Smith moments so you won’t feel disgusted the whole time. But you’ll still puke up a storm. Not so much at the movie, whose shock value wears off quicky, but at Smith, who seems to hate himself almost as much as his audience. Smith junkies will probably give the movie a thumbs-up, while others will look for the nearest exit. So which one are you?
Categories: 2/4, horror, The Twenty-First Century
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