2/4

Machete Kills [2013] ★★

machete-kills-poster-fullWelcome to B movie territory. The star of the show: Dany Trejo, who reprises his Machete role for yet another round. It’s a digital gorefest that expands on the fake trailer director Robert Rodriguez included in 2007’s “Planet Terror”. In part 1, Machete had to deal with Steven Seagal and Robert DeNiro. In part 2, he finds himself recruited by the president of the United States (that’s Charlie Sheen credited as Carlos Estevez). His mission? Stop a former drug lord, who is threatening to destroy the White House with a huge missile. Things blow up, Lady Gaga shows up, and Trejo, at 69, is still convincingly kicking ass and attracting women such as Jessica Alba, Amber Heard, and the one and only Michelle Rodriguez. So is “Machete Kills” a good movie? Not really. But your senses will be too numb to care. I don’t feel guilty about calling it a pleasure. Just to hear Trejo deadpan the line “Machete don’t tweet” is good enough for me.

Rating: 2/4

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