Escape Plan [2013] ★★

escape_plan_poster-610x903It would be easy to write off “Escape Plan” as the testosterone heavy version of Clint Eastwood’s “Escape from Alcatraz” and let it go at that. But unlike “Alcatraz”, which was clever and highly entertaining, this one feels impure and stupefyingly simple. Yet things begin promisingly well with Stallone playing a structural engineer who has the ability to escape from any prison. That is until he is framed and incarcerated in a highly complicated prison he designed himself. Once there, he teams up with Mr. Schwarzenegger in order to escape and find the people who framed him. Punches are thrown. Shots are fired. Stallone throws out a one-liner (as expected). Admit it though: the idea of him kicking ass alongside Schwarzenegger is making you drool, as it should. And the movie works for about 45 minutes. Sadly, it begins to stumble on its own ambitions from that moment on. Still, both actors excel by showing mischievous humor. “You hit like a vegetarian” says Schwarzy at some point. OK, you had to be there, and I’m not advising that, except on a DVD night when you’re stuck at home and it’s either “Dear John” or this. The rest is just sound and pointless action scenes. It’s not the age of the actors that makes “Escape Plan” forgettable. It’s the clumsy storytelling.

Rating: 2/4

1 reply »

  1. It wasn’t extremely cheesy nor was it a masterpiece, it had the right amount of cheese to be enjoyable. The moment Schwarzy grabbed the machine gun from the choppa the whole theater started clapping, it was hilarious.

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