Drive Angry [2011]

Overproduced junk starring Nicolas Cage (with long hair and badass attitude left over from “The Bad Lieutenant”) as Milton, a vengeful father who escapes from hell to avenge his daughter’s death and rescue his granddaughter from a Satan worshipping cult, that plans on sacrifying her so as to bring hell on earth, or armageddon, or something. Along the way, he gains the assistance of a hard ass waitress (Amber Heard), while also being chased down by someone called “The Accountant” (William Fichter), who is in charge of bringing him back to the prison he escaped from, Hell. Usually, a movie review should determine whether or not a film succeeded in delivering what it was supposed to deliver. But I don’t think “Drive Angry” was meant to achieve anything to begin with. It’s bad, it’s really bad, but it’s well made. The amount of blood spattered violence and the abundant nudity ensure that it is not for all tastes, nor that it’s a good film. I won’t even mention the terrible performances, with the exception of Fichter (the dude from “Prison Break”) who makes The Accountant intriguing and fun to watch. But make sure you stay tuned for the weirdest, most violent sex scene/shoot-out involving Cage and a bunch of Satan worshippers. And they said the man was too old for this shit. Say it isn’t so dude.

Rating: 2/4