Colombiana [2011]

I had 3 hours to kill on a plane back home, so I decided to give “Columbiana” a try. Boy did it suck. My expectations towards movies tend to go down when it comes to certain genres. Girls with guns is one of these type of movies (both “Tomb Raiders” films sucked in my opinion). I don’t expect a credible premise and I certainly don’t expect masterpiece writing. But sometimes, a mindless movie can be entertaining, for what it is. Unfortunately, “Columbiana” is none of the above. The film’s introduction goes on for 30 minutes, basically setting up the stage for a routine revenge action flick. To make a long story short, Zoe Saldana’s parents were both murdered by a gang Lord when she was just a kid.  Seeking out her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis), the little girl demands to be taught how to kill. “All in good time,” is Emilio’s answer. Indeed, she has to wait 15 years before she gets her revenge. “Revenge is a dish best served cold” they say. Speaking of which, Can you guess what happens next? Obviously. But this movie is hopeless.  If it weren’t for Saldana in the lead, this would have been a complete disaster. Oh wait, it is a disaster. Skip it.

Rating: 1.5/4