Apollo 18 [2011]

Houston, we have a big problem. I think it’s about time we dropped the whole “found footage” trend. I mean it was fun when J.J Abrams did it with “Cloverfield”. But it isn’t anymore. Instead, “Apollo 18” is a slow, boring space thriller, supposedly a “lost footage” from an undisclosed 1974 mission to the moon. It has no thrills, no scares, no mission, no nothing. Chances are, you’ll fall asleep halfway through. What we get here is this: three astronauts head to the lunar surface only to find a deserted Soviet module, a corpse, strange footprints … and some weird little thing that can turn into spidery rock lobsters and crawl inside their victims’ space suits. The rest is too agonizing to describe. All you need to know however is that we never really get to the good stuff. The three astronauts spend most of their time walking around the surface of the moon. Of course it would have been fine if this were a documentary. But it isn’t. If you’ve seen any of the trailers (which give away nearly every would-be shocker in the film), then there’s no reason for you to watch “Apollo 18”. It’s nearly impossible to recommend it to anyone (even the found- footage genre fans will find this one boring). This crap joins “Big Momma’s House 3”, “The Roommate”, “The Rite”, “Battle: Los Angeles”, “Red Riding Hood”, “Green Lantern”, “Priest”, “Transformers 3”, “Beastly”, “The Smurfs”, “Spy Kids 4”, “Sleeping Beauty” and “Abduction” on my list of worst movies of the year. Congratulations!

Fiasco!