Welcome to the 1000th movie (OK, I’m not that sure of the number) featuring the Three Musketeers. Oh brother! You saw it in Disney’s “The Three Musketeers” back in 1993, then again in “The Man In The Iron Mask”. Up to the plate in the latest version are Ray Stevenson, Logan Lerman (“Percy Jackson”), Milla Jovovich, Orlando Bloom and Christoph Waltz (“Inglourious Basterds”). Waltz and Jovovich bring the sizzle and dominate every scene they appear in. The movie? Not so much. But given that I had no expectations whatsoever for this picture, I thought it had its moments; it’s well mounted, and never dull. Logan Lerman plays young D’artagnan, a skilled, but cocky youngster in 18th Century France, looking to do some good and cause some trouble. After arriving to Paris and inadvertently impressing The Three Musketeers, he becomes embroiled in a plot to dethrone the naive, but sweet King. Somehow, Orlando Bloom is involved here (I’m still trying to figure out why though). Anyway, you don’t go to a movie like this expecting to hear Shakespearean dialogue, but the action, under Paul W.S Anderson direction, is consistently vigorous and exciting. So are the visual effects (the 3D effects look neat for once). The blended elements of action and comedy work, but they never cohere into a satisfying whole. And Orlando Bloom fans (if any) don’t deserve to see their boy reduced to a bad guy with zero skills.
Overall, “The Three Musketeers” comes off as a blueprint for a smart script no one really made. Now that’s what I call dumb.
Rating: 2/4
Let's Talk About Movies 
Leave a comment