Category: 1/4

Fiasco!

Nurse 3-D [2013]

This horror show from director Douglas Aarniokoski will be heaven for devotees of B slasher flicks and zero star hell for pretty much everyone else. Paz De La Huerta (“Boardwalk Empire”) plays a homicidal nurse who preys on cheating men by night with her syringe and scalpel (how […]

The Bag Man [2014]

Horrible thriller finds John Cusack hired by a legendary crime boss (Robert De Niro) to complete a simple task. Then, inexplicably, the boss sends someone to keep an eye on him! Sorry excuse for a script jumps from one boring, stupid, illogical sequence to another, when it fact […]

Winter’s Tale [2014]

Next to Thierry’s Friends’ crappy gadgets, I can’t think of a worse Valentine’s gift than a ticket to see “Winter’s Tale”. How much I hate this movie? let me count the ways. I hate the way Hollywood insults audiences by deciding a surrealistic love story is what we […]

Devil’s Due [2014]

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the movies, here comes another “found footage” horror flick about a couple expecting the devil’s child. This is the cue for directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gilett (yes it took two people to direct this) to throw […]

I, Frankenstein [2014]

Here’s a shrieking bore of a January movie that’s meant to spice things up by casting Aaron Eckhart (a decent actor) as the classic Frankenstein monster. I’m calling bullshit. After an Ok prologue that pays homage (well not entirely) to the classic Mary Shelley story, this loud, noisy, […]

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones [2014]

There’s a reason why Hollywood studios dump their worst movies in January. They must think audiences won’t notice (or care), still trying to digest the holiday turkey. Well we do, especially when it’s a craptacular horror movie like “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones”. From the amateur acting, writing and […]

Empire State [2013]

Welcome to Dwayne Johnson’s 100th movie of the year (I’m not really sure about the number but who’s counting?). He plays a cop who tries to stop a couple of morons (that would be the dreadful Liam Hemsworth and Michael Angarano) from robbing an armored car company. That’s it […]

Getaway [2013]

Do not confuse this terrible mess with Steve McQueen’s classic movie “The Getaway”. This loud, ugly film made my ears hurt. Which leads me to this: why in hell do Hollywood studios always choose September to bury their misfires? They must think we won’t notice, distracted by the summer […]

Grown Ups 2 [2013]

Look, I’m not an Adam Sandler hater. He was pretty good in “Reign Over Me”, “Funny People” and the underrated “Punch Drunk Love”. And I still have fun memories of “The Wedding Singer” with Drew Barrymore, made way before he turned into a doofus. That said, “Grown Ups […]