Awful
I’m always fascinated when a studio thinks a movie it has produced sucks so bad that it refuses to screen it for critics. So Monday afternoon I paid up to see “The Mortal Instruments”. Two guys walked in then left 45 minutes later. That left me and 2 […]
Pop quiz everyone: you’re a Hollywood studio and you help get a movie that’s barely watchable into theaters. The movie is surprisingly a hit at the box office and the kids love it. What do you do next? Do you A) Leave the franchise alone? or B) Give […]
“Only God Forgives” is perhaps the first Ryan Gosling movie one can honestly describe as boring. Yet it arrives with its credentials of cool all set: A stylish retro-noir look courtesy of Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn (who directed the unforgettable “Drive“) and Gosling again in the lead with […]
Some people think Robert De Niro and John Travolta in one movie would be a kick to watch. Not a chance. “Killing Season” defines the word “boring”. Travolta, with an Eastern European accent, a shaved head and bizarre, ugly facial hair plays a member of the Serbian Scorpions. In […]
1- Bullet to the Head: This film is Sylvester Stallone’s way of saying “I make crappy movies but you pay to see them anyway”. He plays a hitman who teams up with a…wait for it… detective (Sung Kang from “Fast and Furious”) in order to bring down a common enemy. […]
Oh geez I really wanted to like this one. Instead, I left “The Hangover Part III” feeling dazed and cheated. So what the heck happened? Or to paraphrase Mr. Chow, “I want answers, motherfuckers!” How could such a good comedy degenerate into a sloppy, unfunny one? The first […]
Remember “Superbad” in 2007 and “The Hangover” in 2009? If so, you’ll feel like you’ve already seen “21 & Over”, except that it isn’t funny or original at all. The movie features two morons who surprise their friend with a visit for his 21st birthday. The guy has an important […]
Four Academy Award winners were involved in this craptacular comedy. Four! Robert DeNiro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton and Robin Williams. Time to weep. The plot? DeNiro and his crazy family are trying to survive a weekend wedding celebration, with disastrous consequences (pun intended). This embarrassing comedy wastes a talented […]
“The Host” is another soulless movie based on Stephenie Meyer’s book. I’ve never read it which means I can’t compare the details and nuances of that book and the film. But I can still review it. The needlessly long story involves Saoirse Ronan (“Atonement”, “The Lovely Bones”) as Melanie Stryder, one of […]
Matthew McConaughey rises once again above the material as Miami Times reporter Ward Jansen who returns home to investigate the case of Hillary Van Wetter (a creepy John Cusack ), a prisoner about to be executed for killing a cop. Charlotte Bless (Kidman), a weird blonde with a hots for […]
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