6 Underground [2019] ★

Michael Bay directs this disastrous action movie, now streaming on Netflix. If this isn’t enough to turn you off, then I’ll go on. Not since the last “Transformers” clusterfuck have I felt the need to shout at the screen in anger. “I want my money back!”. Luckily for us, this never received a theatrical release, but for the sake of an honest review, I stuck around until the bitter end. “6 Underground” is a loud movie, the kind Michael Bay loves to make. It has loud explosions that lead to more loud explosions. It’s incoherent, dumb, and it wastes a good cast. Not even Ryan Reynolds’ charisma can save it from being a complete waste of time. He plays the leader of a group of agents who comes up with a master plan to make the world a “better place”: go off the grid in order to hunt the dictator of Turgistan (a fictional country, just in case). Anyway, what happens next is a series of scenes that rarely gel together to make any form of sense. I’m serious. Your head will spin trying to figure out what the fuck is happening onscreen. And somehow, all this mess leads to a climactic scene in which we’re pounded with even louder explosions and mind-numbing action. Alright, I’ll stop. Michael Bay, you’ve done it again. I hate this movie so much.

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